Giving

Giving is always something I did because I was taught that there is always someone worse off then yourself.  There have been times that I didn't always believe this. As an example, when I had to live in my car in the early 70's because of being homeless.  The strange thing is that from being a Girl Scout for years and having developed survival skills, I turned my car into a home.

So as I listen to the news lately, apartments are burning down, children are starving and homeless, and I realize again that I am extremely lucky.  Granted I have a rather piss-ass body right now that is driving me somewhat crazy, and I am trying to let go of many dreams, but I am still lucky.


As I found out the last few years, being a small business did not work for me.  So now is the time to have a not going to do the business idea sale again. I am the first to admit it was a rather tough blow to my ego, and the fact that we got to travel all over and meet wonderful people I miss.

I also will be giving up some of my physical giving, such as knitting, sewing and handwork, but I figure that to give forward is what I still want to do.  So I am going to get  more creative on how to do what makes me feel that there is a reason for me to be here on Earth.  


While we were packing up more dolls and other things to sell I asked Al did we have things in our pantry and linen closet that we did not need or use any more.  The answer was rather amazing.  We managed to get 3 large garbage bags full of linens.  We are not taking in any more strays, so we only have one bed now, not four.  We also have managed to fill two boxes with food to take to the food pantry.  Next comes the dishes and pots and pans.


I wonder if this a what most people start to do as they get older, or do they wait till it is too late and have someone else make the decisions? I think that due to both our mother's dying last year, it has been a catalyst for us to downsize.  It is a rather monumental task, and we are exhausted, but Al starts college next week and we need to get a lot done before then.

Oh My Goodness

It is unbelievable that I believed I could do all the things I have supplies for. I must have thought I was 5 people in one...whoops, that is called "Multiple Personality Disorder", or maybe having grandiose ideas, what ever it was or is I am now getting rid of it all.

What a eye opener to get older and realize that my energy is at a standstill.

I have packed upped 27 priority boxes of yarn to list on Ebay........good lord.
It is taking me days to do the photos, inventory, listing and packing up.  My goal is that by Christmas it will all be gone........please, please, please.

Got rid of the car top carrier and now need to get rid of all the camping supplies next. 

When I got told that I would be losing my sight for good soon and that my hands are losing feeling, I made the real life decision that "I want to choose how things go".  There is no reason to feel sorry for myself, I just want to make things easier so we can get rid of the house and move into an apartment next year.
I think I am going to be busier than a "one armed paper hanger".


Well I am going to go and relax and watch my "America's Got Talent".  Looking forward to some good and silly talent.

Anniversary a Miracle

Well miracles do happen and today is proof, we made it another year.  It  always amazes me when we get to our anniversary that we made it another year.  Our life has been full of so much tragedy and sorrow that survival is sometimes the only function we run on.  Al and I discussed last night the night before our wedding events and how poor we were, we had $25.00 to get married on and he still carries the Canadian $2.00 bill that was left over.  For the money we got across the border into Canada, bought our license and went to McDonald's for lunch.  As we ate we shared the table with someone who told us about a minister who might marry us.  We had no idea what we were getting into, or what to expect.  We started our marriage out with an adventure and have not stop having them since, some really bad ones and some really good ones, and crave for just medium at times.
We met at college 3 months before and it was during some bizarre circumstances, guess that should have been the first clue.  When we met, I was lugging an oxygen tank and using a cane. I was not looking for a "man", I was going back to school and had a foster teen at home, so I did not need any additional stress.
Al had just come back to town and was returning to college also.

If I may say so, marriage, let alone a relationship, was so far off my radar, Pluto would have been closer.  I especially felt that due to the disability issues I had, I would not want to burden someone.  Al says it has not been a burden, but then he is also good at denial.

We made our food for the wedding and had it in the back yard of the house we were renting.  It was simple, but the type of wedding we wanted.  It was a hot day, 95 degrees, and luckily the rain held off till midnight.

I have been asked if I would do it over again and I have to honestly say, I am not sure.  I am sure that I love Al and that I would not want to live with out him, and that I have never had anyone love me the way he does.  I can also say that I have never had family support and Al has always been supportive of me.  But, if I had the knowledge of the painful and sorrowful events that we have endured, I don't think I would be strong enough to face them.  I guess that is when ignorance is bliss.   

A Beautiful Gift

I received a beautiful gift tonight, I got a call from an old friend, one I had not been in contact for a decade.  It was with great joy and love that I was able to re-connect with Claudia.  We talked for hours, there was so much to catch up on.  We had both has so many tragedies during the past decade, yet also some triumphs.

She understood why we had to pull away from her and her wonderful husband Dan, whom she lost two years ago. My heart is sorrowful that I missed the last few years of Dan's life.  Time has gone by so fast and so many things have happened.  If I had one wish it would be that we never have to dis-connect again.

We discussed the fact we had known each other for 30 years and then laughed at how strange that sounds.  How could 30 years go by so fast.  It was wonderful to hear her voice and tell her how much I enjoyed talking with her again and we both made a promise not to let the time go by again. 

This is a good way to end a day.

Some yarn for sale

Here is some of the yarn I have to sell.  The Lopi (16) is made in Iceland and 100% wool  50 grams, that is the grey.   The (5)blue and (20) soft red is Icelandic Homespun that is 100% wool in 50 grams skeins..  The (8) pale yellow and (8) red Pingouin is 60 cotton/40 acrylique in 50 gram skeins.  The Potpourri is 57% cotton, 17 rayon 15 polyester and 11% nylon again in 50 gram skeins.  The two colors are (10) red white blue muted and (10) yellow blue pink muted.  The Brushed Super Soft 3 is 100% super high bulk brushed acrylic.  40 gram skein.  (27 rose, 2 yellow).

I hope these pictures work, if not let e know.
Thanks so much

My lusting Heart

Stopped at 13 Mile and Woodward to look at some beauties.  Be still my heart......the love of cars must be in my blood, my father was a master mechanic and I was raised with the smell of oil and gas.
Some of these beauties were breathtaking and considering I don't have a lot of breath, this was fun.  

The cruise is only supposed to be on Sat, but it has expanded to a week for the past few years.

Bags of Yarn that went

This is what 112 skeins of yarn look like bagged up....it filled Sue's trunk.  Now to post the other hundreds up for sale and the knitting machines.