4 Letter Word

There are a lot of 4 letter words that people consider cursing and the one that I hate the most is PAIN....

The last few days have been full of pain for me and I could really do without it.  I hate Polio...and all of it's pain.  I am not afraid to say that I hate it, it won't make it worse to say so or better...it just is.

Today I could not get up till 12:30pm because my body said no, it had kept me up till 3:30am.  I have not slept in the past few nights and it makes me crabby...really crabby.

Some days I handle with grace and dignity, but today is one of those days I wish I could take a pill and make the pain go away, unfortunately there is no pill for this pain.  The cold and dampness of Michigan is a killer and I hope we can leave and find a better climate, for myself and for Al's pain.

It is been researched that when one member of a marriage is in constant pain, the other member walks away about 65-70%.  When you have two people in non-treatable pain there does not seem to be research to figure it out.

Someday I hope that Al and I can sleep through the night, wake up refreshed and just have a wonderful pain free life.  I have been told by doctors that will only happen when we die.  Me, I am still interested in proving the medical world wrong and retire with my honey and watch beautiful sunsets.

Official Senior Status

Well, the full reality that I am an official senior citizen, albeit a young one, was the letter from Social Security wanting to know if I was applying for retirement benefits now.  I sat with the letter in my hand today and just laughed.  Retirement? Me?  What do I retire from... a hell of a life?  That would be a gift...that is for sure.  But I am a realist, and know that I would not be totally free of it.  But could I retire?  Well, the answer is no.  Because I took care of Al's uncle for 15 years without pay, and was a foster mom for years, without pay, and I took care of my mom for two years without pay...I really don't have enough credits to make it worthwhile.  I still cannot get any Medicare for another 3 years, so the small amount  I can get now will not cover any health insurance premiums. My answer was mailed back today, and I had to say no. Is that a mistake?  Who knows?  My brother just died at 66 years, and I doubt he collected much of his Social Security for all the years he worked.  I have other friends who have died before retirement.

So how does Social Security become an entitlement?  If you die before you are eligible, nobody gets it. Well, that is, almost no one, if you are married and have kids, your family can get it.  But if you have no kids, are not married, and have no dependents, then the government gets it.  Wait, is this the same government that wants to cut Social Security, Medicare and other senior benefits?  They want to continue to give money to those who do not need it, but will not help those who are homeless, hungry and have dire medical needs unless they fit very rigid rules that often has no relation to reality.   Such as when someone tries to get disability from a program they have been paying into for that reason.

I have been through a lot of elections, and it seems to me, that the government that we are electing is getting further and further away from the citizens and closer to an oligarchy.

Tomorrow I become an official senior, one that is NOT retiring, because it seems to me that there is more work to do now than there was when I was younger.  Personally I think my generation really screwed up, especially when we became more obsessed with possessions than people.  I am not sure I can change or fix some of the screw ups, but I am willing to work at trying.