Small World

When someone says the world is getting smaller, I have proof it is. 
While I was looking at my FB page a picture came up of this guy I know as the "Bubble King",  by the way he is marvelous.

Seeing his picture was not so surprising, it was the other person in the picture who surprised me, it was my 1st cousin who I had not seen in over 20 years.  After the initial surprise I showed the picture to Al and he says, that is Chuck, he was my computer prof at OCC.  I looked at Al in shock and said, "well the other guy is my cousin Jon".  We got laughing so hard and just shook our heads in amazement at how small the world is and is getting.

So has anyone else found someone they know in someone else' s picture?

So I have learned to always be in for a surprise...it makes one's life interesting........

Anniversary a Miracle

Well miracles do happen and today is proof, we made it another year.  It  always amazes me when we get to our anniversary that we made it another year.  Our life has been full of so much tragedy and sorrow that survival is sometimes the only function we run on.  Al and I discussed last night the night before our wedding events and how poor we were, we had $25.00 to get married on and he still carries the Canadian $2.00 bill that was left over.  For the money we got across the border into Canada, bought our license and went to McDonald's for lunch.  As we ate we shared the table with someone who told us about a minister who might marry us.  We had no idea what we were getting into, or what to expect.  We started our marriage out with an adventure and have not stop having them since, some really bad ones and some really good ones, and crave for just medium at times.
We met at college 3 months before and it was during some bizarre circumstances, guess that should have been the first clue.  When we met, I was lugging an oxygen tank and using a cane. I was not looking for a "man", I was going back to school and had a foster teen at home, so I did not need any additional stress.
Al had just come back to town and was returning to college also.

If I may say so, marriage, let alone a relationship, was so far off my radar, Pluto would have been closer.  I especially felt that due to the disability issues I had, I would not want to burden someone.  Al says it has not been a burden, but then he is also good at denial.

We made our food for the wedding and had it in the back yard of the house we were renting.  It was simple, but the type of wedding we wanted.  It was a hot day, 95 degrees, and luckily the rain held off till midnight.

I have been asked if I would do it over again and I have to honestly say, I am not sure.  I am sure that I love Al and that I would not want to live with out him, and that I have never had anyone love me the way he does.  I can also say that I have never had family support and Al has always been supportive of me.  But, if I had the knowledge of the painful and sorrowful events that we have endured, I don't think I would be strong enough to face them.  I guess that is when ignorance is bliss.   

Taken to task

Well it is really interesting to be taken to task so early in my blogging experience.
Mike has said that I could not "not survived" if I am here, therefore I survived.  Well I suppose if you follow the description of the word survive per the Standard Dictionary I have in my lap, he could be close if he applied this to a normal person.  According to the book, the definition is such: Survive-1. To remain alive, or in existence. 2. To live or exist beyond the death, occurrence, or end of; outlive;outlast.  Strictly speaking, I guess I have done some of that.

But for me, to survive means to be at the same level as before the traumatic event, and thus I do not feel I have always survived.  

My life have been full of traumatic events, I got polio at 6 months and 12 years old.  My paternal grandfather sexually molested and tortured me from the age of 4 till 12.  I lost my father the week of my 13th birthday.  My mother remarried a man who was abusive.  I ended up with an abusive  1st marriage, and while escaping from him was in a bad auto accident. After getting divorced I went to work in a summer camp and was beaten and raped and left to die.  After recovering from that, I went to college, and while asleep, my apartment while it was burning down around me.  The fire dept recovered a body, I was told, not rescue a victim.  And the government said that because I had died, I no longer existed, so I had to pick a new name and get a new Social Security number.  So who has survived?


So am I a survivor? I don't really view experiencing these events as being successful.   Yes I was, and am, alive, but I hardly call this surviving.  I have days when I can not breathe, walk or function.  I struggle through PTSD at times.  I sometimes must live a very isolated life.  My immune system sucks.  Many times, so does my attitude.


I have had successes; I managed (with Al's help) to finally get my degree from U of M.  I helped fight a legal battle against my husband by the USPS, and we won. I have won some wonderful funky awards for costuming.  And I will be married for 28 years on Sunday.


With all the trauma I have had, at least I have a sense of humor....warped as Hell at times, but it is mine.