Rose Marie RIP MY Lovely Sister

Time has a way of getting away from one.  Twenty three years ago today, my little sister passed over.  Rose Marie was the most wanted little sister anyone could ever ask for...she was so wanted because I already had three brothers.

Rose was stunning, she had the most beautiful blue eyes, it was like God had reached down and put the bluest sky into her and she had a wonderful golden hair.  When she was brought home from the hospital, I wanted to hold her around the clock...a SISTER...finally....Mom said when I fell asleep they finally could get her back from me.

I learned to sew, and knit for her, I so wanted to make her special....

 And special she was...she was a great artist, horse rider and trainer, and loved animals to the max.  She hunted, fished and could grow her own food.  She was a Renaissance Woman she could drive a semi-truck, traveled across the country and had a busy life till a brain tumor felled her at 32.
Even then Rose was still making plans, she had hoped that after the tumor was removed she could go back to her life, sadly that did not happen.

I have been blessed to have some wonderful "heart" sisters that I have met throughout my lifetime and cherish everyone of them, but Rose Marie Bibby can never be replaced and I will love her for eternity. 

Well Rosie Posey Puddin and Pie, I still cry over your being gone, but know you are safe in the arms of Mom, Daddy, Bobby, Denny and Billy.  This is a hard week, Denny, Danny and Billy's birthdays are only a day apart and you passed over in the middle of them.

I am so tired of losing those I love, but figure I am still here for a reason and have to keep plugging through, but it still hurts.  Until we meet again you will always be in my memories and heart.

4:00 AM

I am finding that not being able to breathe is a problem...one can not sleep.  As the hours are going by I realize that the breathing meds I must take to help me breathe, interfere with my sleep. So I have to decide which to do..breathe or sleep.  So considering the alternative I decided that sleep was not needed.

Sleep has always been my enemy, it rarely has been peaceful and mostly problematic.  I tend to stop breathing a lot, and so at night it is a scary thing, bad enough when I do it during the day. Sleep has always brought out the bad dreams and night terrors all my life and I would fight going to sleep because of it.

Poor Al is not able to sleep because of his pain, so when we both toss and turn it is like being on a rocky boat...neither one of us rests.  I decided long ago that when I can not sleep to just get up and let Al try to get some needed rest.  I can sit in the dark and read with a small reading lamp or now that I have a good keyboard write...

Happy Birthday Denny

Today is my older brother Dennis's birthday.  He is 67 today, or would be if he had not died in Jan. of this year.
It never occurred to me that he would not be here for his birthday he had always before. In fact he had always been here for all my birthdays....I met him when he was 4 1/2.  Denny had always been here and it seemed like he always would be here...but life decided to throw a curve ball.  For the first 4 1/2 years of my life, it was just Denny and me, so there was this bond that developed between us that I thought was forever.  Sometimes one's thoughts are not right, they are more like wishes.

When I heard about Denny's death I was in a meeting and had to be careful how I reacted, it was difficult to restrain my pain.  Not another one I thought, my family was disappearing so fast, it just could not be.

The whole extended family was shocked to find out that Denny had gone...he was the very first grandchild, nephew and was loved and spoiled by my mother's family before she married my father.  My father adopted Denny as his own and when I came along he was THE big brother.

When we were little he was my hero, he would protect me. Once when I fell and was bleeding he picked me up and carried me to school, and he was only ten and I was five.  We fought and loved as most siblings but always forgave each other.  I forgave faster than he, but it usually happened over some little thing. 

Denny had the burden of being the oldest boy, and had five of us under him.  He had some very active and passionate brothers and sisters and he was able to keep up with them all.

I think he missed the younger ones and Mom, and now is up in a place having the time of his life.  He is getting his cake, ice cream and a shot of whiskey and sitting there with that wonderful smile on his face.

Happy Birthday Denny...may you have a great day no matter where you are...I will always love you....

Daddy Happy Father"s Day

Well today is Father's Day, a day that I have not been able to celebrate since 1963....boy does time fly.

I only had my daddy for 12 years, he was killed a week after I turned 13.  Time has gone by so fast at times, and yet other time it seems like yesterday.  Certain holidays bring up the past more than others, this is one of them.

My father was a character, with a capital "C".  He was patriotic, adventurous, passionate, loving and funny.  When WWII broke out he tried to enlist in the USMC when he was only 15 and got sent back twice.  He finally got into the Merchant Marines at 16 and served a year before he was blown up off the coast of Trinidad and injured.  He was discharged with the injury and you would have thought that would be the end of his military service. Not daddy, he was only 17 when he enlisted in the USMC and was there at the end of WW2 and ended up in the Korean War.

I am very proud to be his daughter and to have had him for the twelve years that I did.  I wish I still had him so I could tell him this.

He was a young daddy, here is is with just the first 4 of his 6 children, but had an old soul from lots of experience.  

I was so excited when I was able to get his name and service time approved on the WWII memorial this week....he was my hero...and I felt he should be recognized for it.

Thank you daddy for teaching me to be tough, I find I have used that knowledge my whole life.
Happy Father's Day....

Mom

 
                                         
                                       
                                              
Today is Mother's Day and it is the 2nd one that I have experienced since my Mom passed over.  I was very lucky I had my mother for 60 years to enjoy and to be driven crazy by.         

                                    



Mom was an only child, whose mother died when she was two years old, so Mom never knew her Mom. I on the other hand knew mine very well, sometimes too well. 

Mom ended up being raised mostly by her maternal grandparents, because her father was not into fathering, he was more interested in living the single life.  It was always a source of sorrow to Mom that her dad did not take much interest in her.  But she told me her grandparents were the most amazing people in the world and she never felt unwanted by them. The funny thing is that there were no "legal papers" giving them custody of her, they just took her in.

                                   

When WWII started, my Mother joined the Marines because she said it was her patriotic duty.  She contracted rheumatic fever and after a few months was discharged and sent home to die.  The USMC doctors told her that with the damage to her heart she would never have any children and would die young.  Mom was only 23 at the time.   Later in the year she had Dennis, her first child.



When Mom married my Daddy, she told him that the doctors had said that she did not have long to live and Daddy said, they were wrong about Dennis, they can be wrong about other things.  After all Daddy was a Marine also and knew how the USMC worked.  I came along, then Harold, then William, then Rose and finally Robert.....boy was the USMC wrong.     
  

                                        

The other thing the USMC was wrong about was how long Mom would live. Mom lived to be 87 1/2 years old......and to top it off she was a polio survivor of 1950.  Guess that New England blood and her stubborn nature won out.

                                     



I so miss her wonder full faced smile and heartfelt laughter.  I miss her hugs and kisses, but what I do not miss is the horrible last two  years of her life.  She fought like a warrior, she wanted to outlive her husband because she was afraid her children would be cheated of any inheritance.  I told her, Mom you have already outlived him, and you made the money so you and your husband would not be a burden to anyone, so the money was to be spent on the two of you, no one else.


My most cherished moments are the last Mother's day I had with her.  We had made arrangements with a restaurant so we could take her out to dinner.  She was so excited, she had not been to one in two years.  The place was just about empty and the staff was so great to us.  She had such a great time.  I did not want to take her back to the hell-hole of a situation she was in.  She did not want to go back either, but realized she had to. Mom died in July, 2010.  I am so lucky to have had her as my Mom and despite the hellish last two years, choose instead to remember that last Mother's Day.......

Rest in Peace Mom.....I love you and miss you......and so does Al......     

1/2 & 1/2- Denny & Danny

 Danny and Denny 1956



This year I have lost a whole brother......Dennis Jay Harshman and Daniel Lee Bibby...the two of them equaled a whole to me.
   Let me explain this theory; my older brother Dennis was adopted by my father when he married my mother, so he was technically my 1/2 brother.  I just never saw him as that.  My father's mother always would tell me "Dennis is ONLY your 1/2 brother", and I would ask her what half?

Daniel was my uncle, my father's youngest brother, by 18 years.

Now the interesting thing is, Denny was born Oct 4 and Danny Oct 6, 1945 so they were only two days apart in age.  And the first thing they did when they met was bond as best friends.

Danny and Denny 1948......New best buddies

Two really cute guys....

So when I came along, I already had two of them.......so I thought my grandmother meant that Denny was a half and Danny a half, so the two of them made a whole, they were inseparable .....

Okay, now remember I was 4 years younger and did not understand adult thinking.

So it is with great sadness that 2012 has turned out to be the year I lost both halves....Jan. 12 for Denny and April 20 for Danny.  It seems so ironic that they would die so close together, I guess Heaven is looking for some fun, because the two of them always had a way of making fun.

Even though due to circumstances beyond their control, they lost the contact they had as young boys they both thought fondly of each other.  They became husbands, fathers and grandfathers to some wonderful people.  I feel sorrow for Carolyn and Karen for the loss of their husbands and for Marlene, Michelle, Sandi, Tom, and Suzzi for the loss of their dads and for all the grandchildren.

 So my hope is that the two of them will be together to make things witty up there....and it will cause beautiful rainbows and sunlight to  come down to Earth to bathe all of their family and friends...... I will forever love my "WHOLE" brothers....

Daniel Lee Bibby- Good bye Uncle Danny RIP

My youngest uncle died on April 20, 2012...His name is Daniel Lee Bibby and I was so lucky to have him as an uncle.  Uncle Danny was my father's youngest brother, he was only 66 years old.  Uncle Danny was only 4 years older than me, so he was a playmate for me when I was growing up.

The family story is that when he was born, he was not expected to live, but live he did.  He was one of the smartest, gentlest, funny men I knew.  He could make me laugh at the drop of a hat.  His ability to make some of the most beautiful stained glass was amazing; he could do home remodeling, and even tinkered with mechanical things.  One thing he was a master of was Science, first as a Chemistry teacher and then as a Forensic Scientist.  This kind gentle man worked on what or who caused the death of others, but never lost his sense of humor.




Unfortunately, Uncle Danny had a long struggle with his health before he passed.  I think that he fought so hard not to leave because of his three children, and his lovely grandchildren that he took great pride in.  He was a devout Christian and lived a life that anyone would be proud of.

  Danny and his family.......


After my father was killed in 1963, I did not get to spend as much time with him, and our lives drifted apart, but I still will always love him.

Well Uncle Danny with how horrible the world has become, I guess God needed another Angel and one with your strength.  I am sorry I didn't get to see you for so long, but you were always in my thoughts.....Rest in Peace and have the rest of the Angels in Heaven laughing....

Love you forever.....