So Friday was our freedom day...we got our votes in on Thursday night and decided we would go to the Detroit Fanfare, a comic and fan con.
I had gotten some fun lighting wigs and dreadlocks I wanted to play with so I dressed up, and was enlightened...haha... sometimes my sense of humor gets the best of me.
Al decided to join in and become his own fun.
So off to Fanfare, "The Voting Americans"....pun here..
We had gotten tickets so we could go to the preview and thus have less people to bump into Al's shoulder. I must say it was the best decision in the long run. We were able to have time to talk with so many of the artists, performers and writers.
We really enjoyed ourselves and had fun talking with old friends and new.
We even made the Best of Fanfare picture gallery, how much fun...
But pain raised its ugly head so we did not go back for the rest of the weekend, especially after already witnessing some of the Tiger fans who were at the hotel and getting drunk. We can not risk Al's injury getting any worse and so we decided to just rest for the weekend.
All in all it was a well run convention and the staff were great. The artist and the art was amazing and the conversations fun. It was also the most handicap friendly event be have ever been to.
So yesterday was Sweetest Day so we spent five hours at a Senior Expo. While at the Expo we filled out a bunch of tickets for drawings, but we never win anything and know it is for someones mailing list. After hours of talking with different vendors, we wheeled out of the mall and headed home.
We were both so tired we laid down for a rest. As we were resting we got a phone call who asked for Al. Al answered and then found out what the call was about. He had won a flower arrangement from all places, Price Funeral Home. I almost fell off the bed with laughter because Price is the place that handled my mother and brother's funerals. We must have filled out 25 different tickets and we get this. Now considering I am allergic to flowers we discussed what to do with them. Al said we could take them out to the cemetery and put them on Mom and Bobby's graves. I thought that was a great idea, especially where they came from. Al was told he could pick them up after 10am Sunday morning.
So we went out to the funeral home and this is what Al got...
Now I squealed with joy...they were purple...Mom's favorite color...unbelievable....Al said as soon as he saw flowers "Mom, because it is purple."
So because my husband won flowers for me on Sweetest Day
which was so cool, he could give the flowers to the other woman he so loved...Mom....
So we went to White Chapel and Al gave Mom the flowers
From her "Bonus Boy" .... what a wonderful gift he could give her. It was a beautiful day to top it off. Mom loved Al so much that he got the last kiss she ever gave. She gave him the kiss from a mother, considering his own mother did not. She gave him the most beautiful gift a mother can give. So when he won this, I felt that it was his way to give both of us a nice gift. Life is good today, so I also grab those good days.
I helped him break up the arrangement to split between Mom and Bobby....so much delight on this gorgeous day.
So things came out pretty nice, even put a flag up for Mom.
I kept the pink ribbon for my costume and the rest went to the graves...came out nice I think....
So my sweetie had a good Sweetest Day and our month anniversary day....
Today was one of those beautiful Michigan Fall days. It was brisk, but had clear skies and sun. This was also a day that Al and I could leave the house and not be in so much pain that only the bed is the answer.
A friend of ours said something to me not to long ago that has been stewing in my brain. Barb and I were discussing how Al and I have to present ourselves to the public, and what the cost is. She said that the longer she has gotten to know us, she has realized we are great actors. That took me by surprise because I was not sure how to take it. As we discussed it, I realized that she meant it as a compliment, but I am not so sure it should be.
It has occurred to me that the World is a Stage and we are all actors...just some of us have a larger character to create. For those who see us in public they do not realize the effort it takes for us to "come out". And they can not conceptualize the after effects. I am not even talking about a large event, I am talking about something as simple as going to the store or a doctor's appointment. There have been times when I don't leave the house for up to four months at a time, so as a result, when I get out I am thrilled. Al does get out more than me because he is not hooked to oxygen. We feel blessed that we are capable to do that, so many people can't even had this much freedom.
We tend to be independent and not ask for help very often, and when we do, we try to pay in what ever way we can. Sometimes the people who offer help fully value what we can offer and others don't. I do not have control over others, only myself. (Sometimes). We try to help others if we are capable, but the last time caused Al's disabilities to really flare up horribly. As a result, he has had times were he can not even get out of bed due to the pain.
I have advocated for children, seniors, homeless, veterans and the disabled for my entire life. I have always felt that the information that I pass on has value, and have never asked any payment for it. I have always respected any information that I have gotten from other experts. They have been generous enough to trade in kind for information or skills. So when I am told Al or I have not offered anything of value, it makes me concerned that our limited human contact is possibly infringing on our interpersonal communication skills.
So have our acting skills become rusty? I am not sure. I do know that due to the past Decade from Hell, the stresses we have been dealing with have worn us out.
I also know that the public events that we could tolerate are declining, so finding new resources has become a challenge. New places are always difficult because of checking out if they are handicap accessible or not. I know we are getting older, choke, choke, and maybe not getting better but we would like to continue onto the World Stage. So as we try to figure things out, we will fail at times, but mostly we hope to succeed. That's Entertainment !!!!!!
Today my brother Billy would have been 57. Dennis and him were 10 years and 3 days apart. Both are gone now. It is so bittersweet to know that the first week of October has three of my siblings and one uncle gone...three had their birthday this week, one died this week. Needless to say I really don't like this week much.
Billy is my third brother. He was a real character, in the sense that he tried to live his life on his terms. His beginning was fraught with health issues that impacted his life forever. His struggles were made worse when he had to be put into a foster home because his step-father did not want him to be in the house. Billy always felt abandoned, and in reality he was.
He always fought to be part of a family, but he self-medicated his health issues, which created more distance.
Billy struggled with many of the same demons my father struggled with, and had many of Daddy's traits. The difference was my father had WWII to run away to, while Billy did not. My father would have been proud of Billy though, especially when he went into the Army to try and get his life back on track. Unfortunately it did not work out that way.
I lost Billy in 1993 and miss him so much. He had a fire and passion about life that the world tried so hard to put out. He never gave up. I think back to when he was a baby, so ill that his prognosis was grim, rocking him and trying to get him to eat. His life was short and full of turmoil, so I can only hope he is at peace now.
Rest in Peace Billy boy, have that piece of German Chocolate Birthday cake with Daddy, Mommy, Bobby, Rosie and Denny....I will always love you.
Time has a way of getting away from one. Twenty three years ago today, my little sister passed over. Rose Marie was the most wanted little sister anyone could ever ask for...she was so wanted because I already had three brothers.
Rose was stunning, she had the most beautiful blue eyes, it was like God had reached down and put the bluest sky into her and she had a wonderful golden hair. When she was brought home from the hospital, I wanted to hold her around the clock...a SISTER...finally....Mom said when I fell asleep they finally could get her back from me.
I learned to sew, and knit for her, I so wanted to make her special....
And special she was...she was a great artist, horse rider and trainer, and loved animals to the max. She hunted, fished and could grow her own food. She was a Renaissance Woman she could drive a semi-truck, traveled across the country and had a busy life till a brain tumor felled her at 32.
Even then Rose was still making plans, she had hoped that after the tumor was removed she could go back to her life, sadly that did not happen.
I have been blessed to have some wonderful "heart" sisters that I have met throughout my lifetime and cherish everyone of them, but Rose Marie Bibby can never be replaced and I will love her for eternity.
Well Rosie Posey Puddin and Pie, I still cry over your being gone, but know you are safe in the arms of Mom, Daddy, Bobby, Denny and Billy. This is a hard week, Denny, Danny and Billy's birthdays are only a day apart and you passed over in the middle of them.
I am so tired of losing those I love, but figure I am still here for a reason and have to keep plugging through, but it still hurts. Until we meet again you will always be in my memories and heart.
I am finding that not being able to breathe is a problem...one can not sleep. As the hours are going by I realize that the breathing meds I must take to help me breathe, interfere with my sleep. So I have to decide which to do..breathe or sleep. So considering the alternative I decided that sleep was not needed.
Sleep has always been my enemy, it rarely has been peaceful and mostly problematic. I tend to stop breathing a lot, and so at night it is a scary thing, bad enough when I do it during the day. Sleep has always brought out the bad dreams and night terrors all my life and I would fight going to sleep because of it.
Poor Al is not able to sleep because of his pain, so when we both toss and turn it is like being on a rocky boat...neither one of us rests. I decided long ago that when I can not sleep to just get up and let Al try to get some needed rest. I can sit in the dark and read with a small reading lamp or now that I have a good keyboard write...
Today is my older brother Dennis's birthday.
He is 67 today, or would be if he had not died in Jan. of this year.
It never occurred to me that he would not be here for his birthday he had always before. In fact he had always been here for all my birthdays....I met him when he was 4 1/2. Denny had always been here and it seemed like he always would be here...but life decided to throw a curve ball. For the first 4 1/2 years of my life, it was just Denny and me, so there was this bond that developed between us that I thought was forever. Sometimes one's thoughts are not right, they are more like wishes.
When I heard about Denny's death I was in a meeting and had to be careful how I reacted, it was difficult to restrain my pain. Not another one I thought, my family was disappearing so fast, it just could not be.
The whole extended family was shocked to find out that Denny had gone...he was the very first grandchild, nephew and was loved and spoiled by my mother's family before she married my father. My father adopted Denny as his own and when I came along he was THE big brother.
When we were little he was my hero, he would protect me. Once when I fell and was bleeding he picked me up and carried me to school, and he was only ten and I was five. We fought and loved as most siblings but always forgave each other. I forgave faster than he, but it usually happened over some little thing.
Denny had the burden of being the oldest boy, and had five of us under him. He had some very active and passionate brothers and sisters and he was able to keep up with them all.
I think he missed the younger ones and Mom, and now is up in a place having the time of his life. He is getting his cake, ice cream and a shot of whiskey and sitting there with that wonderful smile on his face.
Happy Birthday Denny...may you have a great day no matter where you are...I will always love you....
