I Really Did Make It !!!!!

 1950...no hair, Mom was horrified I would be bald.

My father carried this picture that Aunt Janet took of me at 3 in his wallet till he died.  I was 13 he he was killed.  Mom said he so loved the picture that he had the current year's one over it.

By God, I made it.  It is a reality that I can say with certainty I am always amazed every time I wake up on this side of the grass.  What confuses me is is why.  I can not figure out why me.  Today I turned 62, but I started out this year with two brothers and before the middle of this month, I had only one.  Harold is the only brother left of four, and my sister is also gone.  The weirdness of this does befuddle me.  Why me?  I have been in a morgue, and died on the surgery table 4 times, but I am still here.  Have I done something wrong and must pay for it by watching my family die?  Or is it as Mom said, "You are the one to tell the truth."

The truth teller.  What truth should I tell?  Should I tell the whole, real truth about my family, warts and all?  Or should I tell the varnished truth, just bits of the story that have been carefully selected?

As I sit here going through old family photos, I wonder why I am doing this anymore.  The people in these photos are almost all dead, just one or two left.  The grandchildren and great-grandchildren of my parents don't even know who these people are.  I have spent over 40 years collecting stories,  records and documents to write the story of my family.  But which family do I write about?  The family that was poor, happy but intact before my dad died?

 Mom and Dad 1961




Or the new family that was formed after my father was killed, just Mom and her kids? 

Bill, Harold, Bobby, Rose, Sooty and Tiger  1963.  My favorite picture of my little brothers and sister.

Dennis and Mom 1963.

Ironically all the people in the above pictures except for Harold, are gone.  My heart breaks with sadness at times, but I also cherish all of them forever, even when bad things happened between us.





  Or the "UNBLENDED" group that was the result of my mother remarrying a year and a half later.