I never got to know my father as a senior citizen, he died when he was only 34. I always wondered what kind of grandfather he would have been. I always wondered how he would like the spouses his children chose. I always wondered what it would have been like to have lived with him the rest of my childhood and have him to filter out the "crappy" men as he used to call the men who were bad.
Daddy was a young man when he became a father, and he was even younger when he went to war. He became who he was because of the events in his life and these events colored his life at times. In reality he was a man, not a super hero, or magical person, but to me he was everything I could want as a daddy. I never got to the "Dad" stage of our relationship, he was still daddy to me when he died. Even my mother would tell me he was my daddy, not my dad, she said he never got to be anyone's "dad".
He had left Michigan during a financial crises for our family and made his way to California to try to get a job to help us. It was a bold thing to do in the early 60's and he was criticized for it badly. He was a Marine who had been trough two wars and and kept fighting his way to support his family. He loved us all, and yet struggled with the responsibilities that came with being a father of six kids and not having a job. He did what he had too, and my Mom said that she understood and forgave him for any of the troubles it caused her.
Now that I am a senior citizen I think of all the tragedy that I have endured in my life and wonder how I managed to get here. I wonder if there would have been less tragedy if Daddy had lived and we grew up in California. That is just a wonder.
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